Sunday, December 22, 2013

Read this right now [Poem]

You are reading this.
Thank you…
For letting me into your mind.
As your eyes follow these words,
I can slip thoughts that are not your own into your head
All for my own mysterious ends.

You have given me incredible power over you right now…  
Don’t believe me? Okay then. Here’s a challenge: Don’t think about roses.
Are you thinking about roses? Ha! See?
Your mind is totally under my control.

Hmmm… What shall I get you to think about today?
A Fantasy… like pirates looking for treasure?
A Nightmare… like a serial killer stalking innocents?
A Warning… like if you don’t question what you read,
people can get you to believe in anything?

I hope you keep that in mind,
because the time has come,
To FREE YOUR MIND

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Quote Showcase #1 [Article]

A quote should be a pithy saying which expresses a lot of truth and wisdom. A quote, after you read it, should make you want to share it with everyone you know. It should stick with you and become a mantra that you say in your head, it should become something that, after you read it, makes you stop and think for a long time. I think that any quotable person is worthy of a tremendous deal of respect.

No wonder I have become a collector and lover of quotes in my life! I have a quote and a saying for just about every situation, and there are more than a few quotes that have become like mantras and prayers that I say to myself during certain times where I need some wisdom to guide me. Every time I repeat them they dig deeper and deeper into my subconscious and the words make an increasingly ever lasting psychic impression.

Quotes have saved me from many a dark day and given me power during times of weakness. To express my gratitude for the quotes in the world, I'm starting a new monthly showcase on my blog that is all about quotes (in no particular order or theme).

INSTRUCTIONS ON READING QUOTES:
Remember when reading a quote to reflect on it so it can sink in fully. Repeat it, say it to yourself a few different ways, think about each word, hold it in your mind, analyze it, feel it. A quote is not worth reading if you don't fully digest it. Otherwise it doesn't become a part of your being.


 Let's see what is lined up for our first installment!

"This moment is always the occasion" - Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

I first came across this quote during my stay at Gampo Abbey. I think it perfectly sums up the entire philosophy of mindfulness!

Everyone is always looking for an "occasion" - either remembering a previous one or imagining/wishing for a future one. Sometimes when we are bored we create "occasions" in our mind, imagined conversations, imaginary situations. The unmindful mind, our little private cinema, creates a thousand and one occasions on a daily basis.

Yes, the mind is always wandering without beginning or end. Why? The mindful mind knows that the present moment is what the unmindful mind is looking for. The busy mind actually wants stillness.

Since I first read this quote it is like a mantra that I say to myself when I am out on walks or out in my daily life. I cannot tell you how many times I have been astonished by how much raw perception and how much beauty is present in literally every single individual moment, and how much more internal happiness we have when our consciousness is more grounded in the impressions of the exterior world instead of always neurotically following whatever erroneous thought is entering our mind.

I remember walking home from school and seeing a tree during the fall, just a simple little tree, and staring at it for a good ten minutes because the sight of it, from  the way the sun was slightly behind the clouds in that moment, the way the tree was positioned in my sight, etc - was so gorgeous. I remember thinking "Wow!" when I saw the wind blowing leaves across the street when I once was walking my dog. It was as if the leaves were engaged in an elegant little dance that no one had noticed but me. I remember finding the tune of the wind hitting the leaves in the trees to be so melodious. I remember the way that the clouds sometimes move along the sky becoming one of my all-time favorite visual perceptions because it so zen.
Never fed, ever satisfied. Ever fed, never satisfied - Paramahansa Yogananda 

Paramahansa Yogananda's deceptively simple quote perfectly sums up the delusive nature of desire. Desire is like an itch: You think that by scratching it the itch goes away, but really, scratching it just makes it itch more and more and more and more. It is true of food, it is true of money, it is true of sex, it is true of drugs, etc.

Think of all the millionaires in the world who can instantly get any possession or food that they want. What do they want? Even more food, money, sex, etc. It never ends!

Think, too, of a person who was perfectly fine a minute ago but is currently a raging volcano of desire because he saw an Ad on TV or his friend talking about something. Just like that. Like a leaf being tossed around in the wind, he is being dragged by external impressions without any thought of his own. Who knows what paths those external impressions might take him?

But a person who abstains, a person who is self-controlled,  does not have that problem. He is perfectly content in the current moment. He walks into a store filled with things he doesn't need, and doesn't buy anything. Someone mentions ice-cream after he just had supper and instead of going after the ice cream he says he is full. The self-controlled man knows the peace and contentment of the present moment and doesn't want it disturbed by whatever random desires come popping in!

What a radical quote to think of in our 21st century consumerist society!
"If you love life, don't waste time, because time is what life is made of" - Bruce Lee

Wow. Whenever I read this quote, the tiger within me gets awoken a little. It makes me want to do the things I love and pursue my dreams. This is a quote that gets me off the couch and gets me doing something. 

This is such a rich quote that it is worth interpreting piece by piece: "If you love life...". Everyone should love life. Life is so precious. Think back to a time when you smiled or when you were really happy. There are so many countless causes and conditions that were required for that one thing to happen. It is such an incredible opportunity that you could ever feel that great at all.

"don't waste time...." Heck, just today I have spent almost all of it zoning out and lazing around. But then I started working on this, and my happiness levels boosted because I am exerting myself and doing something that I really love (writing). Happiness isn't having nothing to do and obeying every command that the Id sends at you, happiness is having a goal and completing that goal, and the best kind of happiness is exceeding your expectations. This isn't something that just happens, it is something that we have to consciously do. If it were any other way it wouldn't be worth it. Life is so much better when we have the energy of awakenment flowing through us.

"Because time is what life is made of". We delude ourselves into thinking that things are the same from moment to moment. Really, they aren't: Every micro-second of existence is brand new. This is true at the microscopic levels of the Atom and the Molecule where things are always changing and moving but also true from the perspective of what our own eyes can see: Everything is always running out, there is always something different about this moment versus every moment that came before or after.

That is Time. Everything around you - people, objects, situations - is running on the sand of a mercilessly finite hourglass. Time is impersonal: It doesn't care if you wanted to repeat this or that experience, or for that person to be that away again, or for this object not to break. Now lets apply this to you. Think back to how short of a time it was to get to the age of 15 to the age you are now. Blink of an eye, isn't it?

If you don't consciously take the bull by the horns, god knows where you could end up, and then the rare and precious life that you had was thrown away. The image of being given a rare diamond and then throwing it away into the garbage is what comes to mind. Better fulfill your dreams while you still have a will that is strong, a body that is healthy and a mind that is sane. Better love the people around you while they have those things going for them too.

I think that's a nice note to end on! I hope that these quotes leave a lasting impression, as any good quote should! Remember to follow the instructions I said at the beginning so you can really digest the words of wisdom that have been offered to you today.


----








Thursday, December 5, 2013

Retreating [Short Story]

Flopping onto my bed, I curled up into a little ball, giving up for today.

I swear, my stress and anxiety had gotten to the point that it was now a tangible substance. It felt gross and heavy. It was a sticky black goo that was clogging up the wheels of the machinery in my life, making everything function either sub-par or not at all.

I considered getting a shower to cleanse myself, but I had already showered two days ago and need to save water. So I had to bear it.

I rolled around in my bedsheets, trying to wipe off this invisible stress-substance, but it wouldn’t come off. I closed my eyes. It was late. Mom and Dad were already in bed and asleep. They don’t know what happened. They’ve suspected that’s somethings been wrong for days, but they’re too busy to really take notice or offer advice. Besides, what help could they offer anyway? They wouldn’t understand. They think I’m with my best friend Jim or my girlfriend Alexandria. Yeah, as if that’d ever happen again.

So much can change in one day. Not even one day, just a couple of hours. One hour you’re at the house of your only friend, and the next minute your girlfriend comes over. You get a sour feeling in your stomach because you know something bad is about to happen, even though you don’t know why. But like a prophecy of doom you ignore it’s forewarnings to make yourself feel better. Sure enough within the next hour your friend and your girlfriend are now dating. What better way to announce it than for her to kiss him right in front of you?

I’ll never forget that feeling. Being betrayed and dumped all at once by my two favourite people who ever lived. Guess the feeling wasn’t mutual.

It was all so surreal and so lightning-fast, it was like a nightmare. The gross, heavy substance became thicker and more plentiful the more I reflected on this situation. Like I was drowning in black goo.

All the people sleeping in this house are so lucky. When people sleep they can effortlessly make the whole world dissolve, retreating into nothingness. I wish I could do that right now.

Ah, nothingness! Sometimes I wished I could go into nothingness forever. That would mean not feeling any of this black goo. That would mean no unenriched past, or burdensome present, or doubtful future. It would mean no aching body, speedy mind or tormented heart. It would mean never having possessed any consciousness of anything that ever was at all or ever having to. Zilch. Zero.

The ultimate escape. It would be like sleeping and never coming back. What could be better? I don’t see any problems with wanting to do that. I mean, I never asked to be born.

I turned over in my bed and started to tear up. Plus, I’m going to die anyway. I may as well hasten the process… but I know I’m too weak to do that. It was an action that will forever remain a thought. So there was really no escape. The consequences of my actions will always be real, the trials I face will remain real… I’ll wake up tomorrow and I’ll still be alone and friendless.

I remained motionless in bed, slowly crying. Depressed enough to wish I could just fall asleep but too restless to do it. Almost every night for weeks since the incident has ended like this. I spent my days not talking to anyone or doing anything, like a turtle that had retreated into his shell so that he couldn’t get hurt or affected in any particular way, but as a consequence couldn’t really live. It was a fair-trade off, though, I thought.

I found that I lived my life like it was a dream. Not the kind where you become lucid, or the kind of dream that gives you a huge revelation about yourself. Not that exciting kind of dream. I lived my life like the dreams that you forgot because they were unimportant and confusing. It had all the same trappings: It was something I merely reacted to as opposed to acted upon, it was something that I stumbled through in a daze while witnessing scenes passing by ranging from joy, to boredom, to agony…

But the worst part about this dream-like life was that at the end of the day, it wasn’t a dream. That’s what I hoped it was. When I got home and was going to bed the night of the incident, I still couldn’t really believe it.. So I went to bed thinking that when I woke up the next morning everything will be back to normal: I’d still be joking around with Jim, then I’ll get a call from the adorable Alexandria and our hearts will be beaming together on the phone… but no. Why?

Because life was actually real. That’s what made me want to retreat into nothingness. Life was so overwhelmingly real and I just couldn’t handle it. My past could never be restored or improved, no matter how hard I try to remember it. The future could never be predicted, no matter how hard I try to imagine it. No, the future could only be made, and I didn’t have the strength to make it any particular way.

That’s not true, I thought, darkly. I’ve proved to myself that I have the ability to make it average or even downright crappy. Well, that’s not totally true… I’ve been happier before. Memories of happier days emerged from the swirling chaos of my mind.

I can do better. Had some part of me yet to give up?

I felt this part of me temporarily overcome my sense of “I”, so that I became the person in me who hasn’t given up as opposed to the person in me who has. I looked at my life with a different set of eyes than before, and thought: “This is absurd. Here you are, lying in bed, hoping the world will go away when you acknowledge the impossibility of that. Come on! You’re alive, so you may as well live, and what is life without struggle, without acts of will, without ambition and fulfillment and loss?”. My crying halted.

I felt like an inner fire was burning inside me, and it made me feel more awake. I could feel it coursing through my veins. It was like my life force. It wanted to lift me up. I could feel this new inner fire and the black goo competing with each other.

“But what if there really is no point?” my more pessimistic side retorted. My optimistic side thought it over and responded,“It’s your choice”. It was right! It really was all up to me.

I could feel myself become decisively disgusted with the attitude I’ve had these last few weeks. I opened my eyes, with intensity. The fiery substance became stronger. I consciously whispered to myself: “I can do it. Yes! I can actually do it!!”.

My inner fire started to burn through all that black goo, replacing feelings of apathy and despair with enthusiasm and exertion.

I actually leapt out of my bed and stood in my bedroom, spine upright. Like a king. I swear, this distinctly physical gesture threw off the remaining bits of stress that were left in me, and I could feel my inner fire burning brightly.

Screw Jim and Alexandria!!! I can make new friends! Did I really just say that to myself? That was pretty bold. I felt like running to the top of a hill and yelling that out to the world as loud as I could. Even if I couldn’t actually do that since, y’know, it’s kinda dark out and I don’t know of any hills nearby. But I was doing it in my head and it got my point across to myself.

What should I do? I’ll try and put a smile on someone else’s face for once. Everyone wants to smile. Yeah, that’s right. Everyone wants happiness and nobody wants suffering, so I can make new friends by trying to make people happy. Oooooh, I was really on fire now!

Tomorrow was a new day. It doesn’t matter that it’s the middle of the week and the middle of the month. I don’t need to wait until something like New Years or some other big occasion to change my life. I can do it right now, just because I want to.

With all that, I at last began to feel sleepy. But I had a different attitude towards sleep now. I didn’t approach sleep with wanting to disappear, but with wanting to rejuvenate myself. For the first time in a while, I was so excited and happy.